Thursday, December 9, 2010

God will see me through...

Thank you for your prayers. I have to say that I feel better today.

Upon reflection, I thought about some things that bothered me about the job. One...I asked my interviewer what happened to the previous person that held the position. She gave me a very blunt, "The person left." I asked for more information, and she again stated, "The person left." I admit that this bothered me, but I ignored this, because I really need a job.

The second thing that bothered me about this job was that in my final interview the woman described the department as being a "family environment". I've found in my past that "family environment" can mean anything from "The Cosby Show" to "The Sopranos". My experience has found that most are more like "The Sopranos", which means that they are very unprofessional.

Right now, I'm learning to go by faith. I'm blindly going into this situation not knowing how God is going to resolve all the problems....but I KNOW He is going to bring me out of this for the better. After all...That is how God works. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Thank you for your prayers.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Well...I thought I would be posting a Praise Report. I hate to tell you that the news is very bad. Last month, I had two interviews with a company. I really thought I had the position. I was so happy. I praised God. I had visions of all of the things I wanted to do. I just knew this was from God. Today, I received the email stating that they hired someone else. I was heartbroken. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I cried and cried.

I don't know why God allowed me to come so far, only to let me down. I cried out to God. I asked Him why. I don't have any answers. I honestly don't know what direction God wants me to go in now. I feel numb.

I will be honest with you. I'm starting to question the verse, Matthew 18:19-20

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

People have said that when you start praying in agreement, you will start seeing amazing things happen. I will admit that God has helped my family. I give Him all of the praises for these things. Unfortunately, the major prayers have not been answered. I thought I was going to have a job...this job. We've been praying for a major money blessing...nothing. We've been praying for help to move to Texas...nothing. We've been praying for spouses...nothing. We've been praying for money to fix up the house so that we can move...nothing. We've been praying for a new car for my mother...nothing. We've been praying for a garage...nothing.

I have to admit that my heart is heavy. I don't know what to do or think. I was feeling hopeful, but now I'm feeling hopeless.

I found this verse on hopelessness:

Psalm 34:17-20 "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken."

I wish I could end this on a positive note. I just can't.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Thank God for His Guidance...

Well...I had an interview that went extremely well on Thursday. If God wants me to have this job, I can see why He's chosen it for me. It wouldn't be too stressful. It would a more casual, professional type of environment that I would like. It would start off slow, so I would have time to learn their systems. I believe this would be an answer to my prayers. I think this would only be the beginning of God answering the prayers of me and my mother.

My mother and I have many prayers that we still are believing that God will answer. My mother is taking a leap of faith by returning to school with the hopes of entering into a different career. We still need a major money blessing that would allow us to fix our home, so that we can move to Texas. We have health issues. My mother needs a car. To be honest with you, we also need a nice long vacation after dealing with the challenges that my father put us through and left us with.

My mother and I thank God often. I would say that we thank God more than most. There are times when I thank Him even when He hasn't answered our prayers. I have to admit that I'm humbled by this experience. I never thought I would go through this kind of trial....and it's not over yet.

1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

Thursday, October 28, 2010

God Hears All Prayers....And Answers!!!!!!!

Well...I know it has been a while since I've posted. I can say that I have been praying and praying to God. My mother and I are still praying our agreement prayers.

I have to say that we did receive a major blessing. My mother and I were and are still having problems paying our bills. I've been on unemployment for over a year now. I'm terrified. I know that I cannot be on unemployment forever. mother and I applied for food assistance. We finally were approved this month. We found out that we received more money than we expected. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!! We can now put the money that we would spend on food towards other bills.

I will admit that I did feel like a failure when my mother and I had to get food assistance. It was so embarrassing. I never thought that we would be in this position. It broke my heart. I wondered why would God allow us to go through this? Inside I keep screaming, "Why?"

Well...I had to learn to count my blessings. Initially I didn't see getting assistance with food as a blessing, but I had to realize that God did not promise that we would not have struggles and challenges. He did promise to be with us during these hard and difficult times. I now can look at getting assistance as one of God's first steps in helping us move forward. This was the major money blessing that my mother and I prayed for...just not the way we had hoped it would come to us.

I also have more phone calls for job interviews. I had a phone interview last week, a face-to-face interview and a phone call for a follow-up interview to a job that I really want. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!! I truly believe I'm going to have a job soon. God is answering my prayers.

John 14:13-14
I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Being scared, but remaining faithful

Well...I wanted to give you an update on my status. I'm still looking for a job. I had two phone interviews yesterday (10/19). The first one seemed to go well, but I feel I didn't do well with the question on how I prioritize my job assignments. The second over the phone interviewer felt that I didn't have enough experience, but she stated that I should continue to look at their website for jobs. I sent them both thank you letters, and I added a sample of my work to the first person I interviewed with. I really want that job, and I hope that they will call me in for a second interview.

I have to admit that I'm scared. Winter is just around the corner, and I'm not sure how I will heat my house. You cannot live without heat in my state, because it can get so cold that your pipes will burst.

My mother and I continue to pray in agreement. Praise the Lord...God will provide.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Being Honest With God

Lately, I've been pretty upset with God. My mother and I have been praying in agreeance for a few months now, but we have not received answers to our major prayers.

Times are so scary for us right now. We have to worry about heating our home this winter. We have to worry about paying our monthly mortgage. We don't have jobs and no prospects. What are we going to do?

I love my time with God. I let Him know how I feel. I've been claiming Matthew 18:19-20. I believe that the most powerful prayer you can do is pray with someone and agree in prayer. God doesn't put a but or an if in these verses. He states, "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." He says anything you ask for and it will be done for you by Him.

Well, my mother and I have certain requests that we have written down. We have not received the answers we expected. I know that God doesn't always answer our prayers they way we expect. I was prepared for this...or so I thought I was prepared.

I've been honest with God. I told Him that I thought the He would've answered at least one of our major prayers. I let Him know that I was scared. I also let Him know that I was disappointed. I told Him that we are going by faith, and holding Him to His promise of Matthew 18:19-20. Do you know what else I told Him? I let Him know that I truly believed that He was going to answer our prayers.
I do believe that God is going to work amazing things in my life. I just have that voice in my head going on and on that things are not going to work out. I will keep you posted about God's blessings in my life.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Where Are You God?!?!

Wow...It's been a struggle with faith lately. There are times when I was so sure that I heard God, but I guess I've been hearing Him wrong.

I’m at a point in my prayer life where I don't know what to pray. I just don't know. I feel like I'm chasing after all of the wrong things, but I don't know what the right things are. Have you been there? I need God's guidance. I need to see Him working in my life.

I will say that I know that God has never left me, but I'm still asking for God to reveal Himself to me. I was trying to think of a word that would describe the way I feel, and I believe that discouraged would fit.

Joshua 1:9 "I command you, be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope".

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Faith Going Towards The Valley

I have to admit that my faith is going towards the valley. I talked to God yesterday to let Him know my concerns. My mother and I have been praying in agreement for a while now. We believed that God was going to work miracles in our lives.

Last night, my mother and I were getting ready to pray. She asked me if I've noticed any changes in my life, since we started praying in agreement? I could not bring myself to tell her no, so I answered by saying that God is working on something. In my heart, I have to say that I'm asking the same question.

I understand that God's time is not our time. I understand that God answers all prayers. I also understand that I have to have faith. Have you ever just wished that God would just speak to you? That's where I am at now.

I'm going to keep believing. I've heard that when you are down that when God starts working miracles. Well...I'm down.

Isaiah 30:19 "O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious He will be when you cry for help. As soon as He hears, He will answer you."

2 Samuel 22:31 "God's way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection."

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


Have you ever just wondered why God allows you to go through so many difficulties at once? Have you ever truly believed that God was going to answer your prayers in a particular way, only to find out that He did not. I'm going through this now.

I went on an interview with a company, and it seemed to go so well. I thought for sure that they would call me back for a second interview. On Monday, I received a phone, and I thought that this was God's answer. I found out that they were just calling me to thank me for coming in to the interview, but they decided to look at other candidates. I was heartbroken.

My faith plummeted. I prayed to God. At that moment, I had to let Him know that I didn't know what to pray. I was disappointed. I felt like I didn't have any direction. I did not know what to do.

I decided to call a friend. She told me that I had to praise my way out of this feeling. She told me that God will answer my prayers, but I have to continue to have faith.

Do you know what I had forgotten? The devil is a liar. I let him tell me that I was never going to get a job. I let him tell me that God was not going to answer my prayers. For a brief moment, I allowed him to win.

God never left me. If I'm honest with myself...I really didn't want this job. I knew it wasn't for me...but my desperate need for a job made me lose focus.

God is going to see me through these trials. I know He's going to honor His word. Praise the Lord!!!!

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Waiting On God

Waiting on God is one of the most difficult challenges in life. We know that God can answer all prayers right away, so why doesn't He? Well, let me say that God is not our concierge God. He is our Father. He doesn't have to.

You know what I've found? God is always right on time. I have to be honest with you, God is taking a very long time answering me and my mother's prayers. My mother's faith has taken a big hit. Guess what? My faith has been fluctuating too. I did talk to God today. I told Him that I thought He would've answered at least one of my mother's and I prayers. Well, I think that I heard Him say, "It's coming!!!" Let me just say, "PRAISE THE LORD!!!!"

I know that waiting on God is hard. I always have to remember that God's time is not our time. I also remember that in the end, God's way is the best. Remember to keep the faith.

Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Ups & Downs of Faith

Well...My mother and I are continuing to pray in agreement. I've also started to fast. I'm trying to get closer to God and find His answers. I will say that I do feel closer to God, but the answers are not really coming. I spoke to God, and I asked why hasn't He answered the easy prayers. I feel like God is telling me, "All in good time." Well, I know we've all heard the saying, "God's time is not our time."

Right now, I'm just trying to find things to be thankful for. For example, I'm a part of an organization that helps Veterans. I was the only woman for a while. Recently, we added three other women to the organization. One of the women has her own business. She helps people find jobs, and she also mentors people. Surprisingly, a company that I've always wanted to work for has a job that fits me. I applied for the job, and I sent an email to everyone in the organization to see if they know someone at the company. This woman who is new to the organization replied to my email stating that she connected with her contacts to let them know I applied for a job with this company. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

I feel like God is teaching me patience. I think He's ready to answer our prayers, but He wants us rely on Him. God knows that we will have moments where we need reassurance, but there are times when we just have to know that God is handling everything. I believe that this is one of the times in my life that I just have to trust that God is in control.

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

Friday, August 27, 2010

Why are some prayers not answered?

One of the biggest questions people have is, "Why are some prayers not answered?" If you do a search on this question, you will find many websites dedicated to answering this question. There are some that believe that answers aren't forthcoming, because we haven't forgiven those that have wronged us. There are some that believe we aren't praying in accordance to God's will.

My answer to the question of "Why are some prayers not answered?" is that I don't believe that God doesn't answer prayers. I believe He answers all prayers....just not the way we always want Him to answer. I like to put a positive spin on things, so I know that there are times when God does say no to a prayer. I like to believe that God's no means that there is something better that He has in store.

I also know that our prayers aren't immediately answered. I truly believe that God allows you time before you receive His blessing to be prepared for what He has for you. Maybe you are praying for a husband or wife. Your prayer may not be answered immediately, because God wants you to mature before He blesses you with the spouse He has for you. Maybe you are praying for a money blessing. God could be putting things in place, so that you don't spend your money frivolously. We just have to go by faith and know that God has His reasons for not answering immediately.

Now, there are those wonderful, miraculous times when God answers our prayers immediately. We all love these moments in our lives. Feeling God's favor is the most amazing thing in the world. It's like God is giving you a hug.
I'm currently in the waiting period of getting my prayers answered. I'm hoping and praying that God will bring me and my mother a major money blessing. We are also hoping and praying for jobs...soon. It's a scary time for the both of us. We are facing trials that we never thought we would go through. I can't deny that my faith is taking a beating right now. I'm scared. My mother is scared, but we are learning to be thankful for the blessings that God has given us while we wait for God's answers...and I know He is going to amaze us with His answers. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

1 John 5:14-15 "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask for anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we ask of Him."

Monday, August 23, 2010

Matthew 18:19-20

Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, I tell you that if two of you agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them."

Well, my mother and I have started praying together. We used to just pray silently, now we speak our prayers out loud. I have to admit that I slowly see some changes. For instance, I have had about 5 over-the-phone interviews this month. I had one face-to-face interview this month. Unfortunately, nothing has come of these interviews, but I'm hopeful that I will have a job soon.

My mother, on the other hand, has found an organization that is helping her find a job. PRAISE THE LORD. This organization has set my mother up with "training" that is paid. They pay her for part-time work. She's found a resource that will allow us to talk to an attorney about paying our gas and electric bill for a small fee. This fee also will be paid by the organization my mother is in. The attorney can halt the gas/electric company from turning off our services. I'll let you know how this goes for us.

My mother and I are believing in Matthew 18:19-20. We are praying together and agreeing in prayer together. We believe that our prayers are more powerful based on Matthew 18:19-20. God has promised that if we follow this, He will answer our prayers. I have faith that God will honor His word, and I cannot wait to tell you the answers that He is going to provide for us.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Power of Agreement

My mother and I have been practicing agreeing in prayer for a short while now. I have to tell you that it is working.

We've been worried about coming up with this month's mortgage. Neither one of us are working. The bad economy has really affected our lives. Amazingly, my mother and I were looking over her taxes. We found an error. She was owed money. She just received it, so we will be able to make this month's mortgage payment. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

We had another blessing. My mother found a program for older adults that retrains them to find work. She was told that there was a long waiting list. It only took about 2 weeks or so, but she is now in the program. They've found her a "training" position that allows her to work part-time. It really doesn't pay much, but we are so grateful that the Lord has brought this program to her. This program also has money that will allow her to go to school to become a Medical Assistant...if she wants. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

I've actually had a couple of blessings myself. I've had a couple of phone calls about jobs. I have an interview on Thursday, and a phone interview on Friday. I'm sure that God is going to bless me soon with a job. It's going to be the right one for me. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

Matthew 18:19-20 "Again, I tell you that if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in Heaven. For where two or three gather together in my name, there I am with them."

I have to tell you that this works. I believe that there are so many wonderful things that are about to happen in my life. Now, I know that prayer is about being closer to God. I know that you also need to find God's will in your life. I wish I could see answers to the major prayers. I'm sure God will be answering us soon. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

Monday, July 5, 2010

It's official. I have been unemployed for a little over a year. I'm terrified. I can't believe that I'm in this situation. The thought of losing my home makes me sick to my stomach. Do you know what I'm doing? I'm praising God. I praise Him, because I had a wonderful 4th of July. I praise Him, because I have my health. I praise Him, because I know He's going to allow me to come out better than I was before.

I have to admit that there are strong doubts going on in my mind. I constantly hear, "You haven't heard anything yet." I hear, "You've been praying for a long time, and look at where you are at now." I just continue to pray.

I'm also praying with my mother. The Bible says in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them." I believe this is one of the most powerful forms of prayer that you can do.

My mother are practicing agreeing in prayer. Matthew 18:19 states, "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." I'll have to let you know if this works.

OK. We have three prayers that we are agreeing in prayer about. The first is our health...of course. The second is about getting jobs. We both have been laid off. It's a very scary situation. The third is for a major money blessing. Nothing has happened yet, but I'm remaining faithful to God. I know He has a good plan for my life. I know that God's time is not my time...but I need Him to answer my prayers now. I'm trusting that He has an answer on the way. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Today, I was thinking a lot about happiness. Have you ever been sad for so long that you doubt that there really is such a thing as happiness? You wonder if those fleeting moments of happiness when you were young were just a tease.

Well, I was praying to God about my life. I was feeling so confused...and alone. I was just wishing that God would show Himself to me.

I went to the store today. I was feeling frustrated. I was leaving the store when I heard someone say my name. I looked around, but I thought I was just hearing things. I heard my name again, and to my surprise, I saw a cousin that I lost contact with years ago. I was so happy to see her again. We hugged. I met her daughter. We both decided that we were not going to lose contact again.

You see...God wanted me to know that I was not alone. He brought someone that had been very important in my life long ago. He knew I needed to be uplifted.

Remember...God is always there for you. He shows Himself in the most miraculous ways.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Faith being tested & tested....

It's January...almost February. I'm still unemployed, but I did have my first interview since being laid off. Praise God!!!!

Well...the interview did not go as I had hoped. First, let me explain that I received a phone call last week, regarding a position for a Business Analyst position. It seemed to be perfect for me. They needed someone who knew SQL. They needed someone who had experience with reporting tools. I have both. I was so excited, so I scheduled the interview for Friday, January 22, 2010.

I had a whole week to prepare. I was so nervous, because I found out that I would have to take a test on SQL. Now, I know SQL, but I haven't used it in a while. I pulled out my book, and I got online to study.

I started praying to God that I only wanted this position if He wanted it for me. I had to constantly stop my self from praying the selfish prayer. You know the one..."God, I don't care. I need this job. Just make it for me." prayer. I took what I like to call "The Road of Faith". I was going to leave this in God's hands.

Well...I had the interview, and it was not as I had hoped. Yes...They needed someone who knew SQL, but it was imperative that the person knew PL/SQL. Unfortunately, I don't know PL/SQL. Guess what? The whole test was about PL/SQL. I was so disappointed, because I started to envision all of the things that I was going to do once I got this job.

Now, I allowed myself a period of time to vent and be mad. I think we all deserve this. I called a friend to tell him that I was mad that they called me in when they knew they needed someone with PL/SQL skills. I was mad, because this company had my resume for almost 3 weeks, and they knew I did not have PL/SQL. Finally, I was mad, because I wasted time worrying, studying...and just wasted time.

Now, it's the day after the interview, and I have to get myself back on track spiritually. I have to get back to being thankful. You know what? I thank God that He did not allow me to get this job. I have a feeling that it would be too much pressure for me. I thank God that I had the interview, because it helps me to prepare for future interviews. I thank God that He never left my side, because I know that He has something wonderful in store for my future.

I'm sharing this to let you know that you have to stay strong through the disappointments. Sometimes I think God wants to see that we will keep that faith no matter what. There are going to be hard times...God never promised a life of roses, but He did promise to be with us no matter what.

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day." (Lamentations 3: 21-23).