Saturday, March 26, 2011

Signs from God?!?!?!

I'm always looking for signs from God. It doesn't matter what it is, but I am on the constant look out for God.

Today, I wasn't feeling the faith. I applied for a position, and I received a phone call from the person in charge. I missed his initial phone call, but I was so excited, because he called me so quickly. I thought this was a "Sign from God". He finally got in touch with me on Friday. The first thing he said was, "Well first thing...I'm not hiring you for this position." He went on to explain that he was looking for someone more technical. He just wanted to know if I had any questions. I ended the conversation with a thank you, but I felt so depressed. I just knew this was the one God had for me.

Not too long ago, I was taking my mother to class. My mother was stressing about her course, and we looked up to see a Texas license plate. You may not know this, but my mother and I plan on moving to Texas. I thought this was a sign from God too.

Now, I'm feeling like a failure. Nighttime is the worst for me. I hear things like "You're a failure.", "You're never going to make it." "You're disgusting.", "You have two degrees, and you can't even make them work for you." I could go on and on.

Well, today my mother and I prayed that she would get an A on her Algebra exam. I prayed in agreement with her, but I really wasn't feeling the faith. Guess what? My mother got an A on her exam. I'm so proud of her, yet I'm scared to call this a sign from God. Is He letting us know that He is about to answer our prayers? Am I putting too much into looking at this as a sign? I just don't know.

I'm continuing to seek God. I'm going to continue to ask Him for answers to our prayers. I just wish I could be more positive to the wonderful people that are following my blog.

Please keep me in your prayers. I pray that I will have praises to post soon.

God bless.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Friday, March 18, 2011

Do I Hear The Voice Of God????

I cannot deny that I'm feeling depressed. I can't deny that my faith is at a low. I can't deny that I have cried tears, because I feel like God has let me down.

I started this blog to help myself and others who are going through a hard time. I wanted to show how prayer, faith and spirituality works. I knew when I started this blog that I would have my trials. I guess I didn't think that things would get this bad...especially when I believed I had God on my side.

Now, it's 2:30 in the morning, and I feel really down. I have conflicting voices going on inside of me. One voice is telling me that everything is going to be OK. It's saying that I will have victory. The other voice is calling me a failure. It's saying that I'm disgusting.

People have told me that I should know that the positive voice is God and the negative voice is one I should never listen to. I'm just starting to wonder if I'm hearing God at all. Am I in denial? Is God really talking to me? Is He really telling me that everything is going to be OK? I really don't know.

My situation is dire. I haven't worked in almost 2 years. I don't know what to do. No one will hire me. I have two degrees, and I feel worthless. I feel like such a failure.

You may ask, "Why am I posting this?" I guess so everyone can see that they are not alone. I have my doubts too. I feel lost and alone too.

I wish I could say that I feel victory in my future. I can't. I wish I could say that my faith in God is stronger than ever....but it's not. I'm depressed. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. To sum things up...I would say I'm feeling hopeless.

Psalm 34:17-20 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 58 helpful votes
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Nothing Can Stop God's Will

Well...I had an interview on Tuesday. It seemed to go well, although, I don't feel like I won over the second interviewer. People continue to tell me that if it's truly God's will then nothing can stop me from getting this job. I know this is true.

I can't deny that deep down I'm so scared. I've cried out to God, and I believe I see signs that He is sending me to say that everything is going to work out. I was driving my mother to her class. She was praying to God, and I was talking to God in my head. Suddenly, we looked up and saw a Texas license plate. You may not know this, but I'm hoping to move to Texas soon with my mother. I see this as a clear sign from God, because it came just at a time when my mother and I needed one. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!