God will see me through...

Thank you for your prayers. I have to say that I feel better today.

Upon reflection, I thought about some things that bothered me about the job. One...I asked my interviewer what happened to the previous person that held the position. She gave me a very blunt, "The person left." I asked for more information, and she again stated, "The person left." I admit that this bothered me, but I ignored this, because I really need a job.

The second thing that bothered me about this job was that in my final interview the woman described the department as being a "family environment". I've found in my past that "family environment" can mean anything from "The Cosby Show" to "The Sopranos". My experience has found that most are more like "The Sopranos", which means that they are very unprofessional.

Right now, I'm learning to go by faith. I'm blindly going into this situation not knowing how God is going to resolve all the problems....but I KNOW He is going to bring me out of this for the better. After all...That is how God works. PRAISE THE LORD!!!

Thank you for your prayers.

Well...I thought I would be posting a Praise Report. I hate to tell you that the news is very bad. Last month, I had two interviews with a company. I really thought I had the position. I was so happy. I praised God. I had visions of all of the things I wanted to do. I just knew this was from God. Today, I received the email stating that they hired someone else. I was heartbroken. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I cried and cried.

I don't know why God allowed me to come so far, only to let me down. I cried out to God. I asked Him why. I don't have any answers. I honestly don't know what direction God wants me to go in now. I feel numb.

I will be honest with you. I'm starting to question the verse, Matthew 18:19-20

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

People have said that when you start praying in agreement, you will start seeing amazing things happen. I will admit that God has helped my family. I give Him all of the praises for these things. Unfortunately, the major prayers have not been answered. I thought I was going to have a job...this job. We've been praying for a major money blessing...nothing. We've been praying for help to move to Texas...nothing. We've been praying for spouses...nothing. We've been praying for money to fix up the house so that we can move...nothing. We've been praying for a new car for my mother...nothing. We've been praying for a garage...nothing.

I have to admit that my heart is heavy. I don't know what to do or think. I was feeling hopeful, but now I'm feeling hopeless.

I found this verse on hopelessness:

Psalm 34:17-20 "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken."

I wish I could end this on a positive note. I just can't.