Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Well...I thought I would be posting a Praise Report. I hate to tell you that the news is very bad. Last month, I had two interviews with a company. I really thought I had the position. I was so happy. I praised God. I had visions of all of the things I wanted to do. I just knew this was from God. Today, I received the email stating that they hired someone else. I was heartbroken. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I cried and cried.

I don't know why God allowed me to come so far, only to let me down. I cried out to God. I asked Him why. I don't have any answers. I honestly don't know what direction God wants me to go in now. I feel numb.

I will be honest with you. I'm starting to question the verse, Matthew 18:19-20

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

People have said that when you start praying in agreement, you will start seeing amazing things happen. I will admit that God has helped my family. I give Him all of the praises for these things. Unfortunately, the major prayers have not been answered. I thought I was going to have a job...this job. We've been praying for a major money blessing...nothing. We've been praying for help to move to Texas...nothing. We've been praying for spouses...nothing. We've been praying for money to fix up the house so that we can move...nothing. We've been praying for a new car for my mother...nothing. We've been praying for a garage...nothing.

I have to admit that my heart is heavy. I don't know what to do or think. I was feeling hopeful, but now I'm feeling hopeless.

I found this verse on hopelessness:

Psalm 34:17-20 "When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken."

I wish I could end this on a positive note. I just can't.

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