Today, I was thinking a lot about happiness. Have you ever been sad for so long that you doubt that there really is such a thing as happiness? You wonder if those fleeting moments of happiness when you were young were just a tease.

Well, I was praying to God about my life. I was feeling so confused...and alone. I was just wishing that God would show Himself to me.

I went to the store today. I was feeling frustrated. I was leaving the store when I heard someone say my name. I looked around, but I thought I was just hearing things. I heard my name again, and to my surprise, I saw a cousin that I lost contact with years ago. I was so happy to see her again. We hugged. I met her daughter. We both decided that we were not going to lose contact again.

You see...God wanted me to know that I was not alone. He brought someone that had been very important in my life long ago. He knew I needed to be uplifted.

Remember...God is always there for you. He shows Himself in the most miraculous ways.

Faith being tested & tested....

It's January...almost February. I'm still unemployed, but I did have my first interview since being laid off. Praise God!!!!

Well...the interview did not go as I had hoped. First, let me explain that I received a phone call last week, regarding a position for a Business Analyst position. It seemed to be perfect for me. They needed someone who knew SQL. They needed someone who had experience with reporting tools. I have both. I was so excited, so I scheduled the interview for Friday, January 22, 2010.

I had a whole week to prepare. I was so nervous, because I found out that I would have to take a test on SQL. Now, I know SQL, but I haven't used it in a while. I pulled out my book, and I got online to study.

I started praying to God that I only wanted this position if He wanted it for me. I had to constantly stop my self from praying the selfish prayer. You know the one..."God, I don't care. I need this job. Just make it for me." prayer. I took what I like to call "The Road of Faith". I was going to leave this in God's hands.

Well...I had the interview, and it was not as I had hoped. Yes...They needed someone who knew SQL, but it was imperative that the person knew PL/SQL. Unfortunately, I don't know PL/SQL. Guess what? The whole test was about PL/SQL. I was so disappointed, because I started to envision all of the things that I was going to do once I got this job.

Now, I allowed myself a period of time to vent and be mad. I think we all deserve this. I called a friend to tell him that I was mad that they called me in when they knew they needed someone with PL/SQL skills. I was mad, because this company had my resume for almost 3 weeks, and they knew I did not have PL/SQL. Finally, I was mad, because I wasted time worrying, studying...and just wasted time.

Now, it's the day after the interview, and I have to get myself back on track spiritually. I have to get back to being thankful. You know what? I thank God that He did not allow me to get this job. I have a feeling that it would be too much pressure for me. I thank God that I had the interview, because it helps me to prepare for future interviews. I thank God that He never left my side, because I know that He has something wonderful in store for my future.

I'm sharing this to let you know that you have to stay strong through the disappointments. Sometimes I think God wants to see that we will keep that faith no matter what. There are going to be hard times...God never promised a life of roses, but He did promise to be with us no matter what.

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day." (Lamentations 3: 21-23).