Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Trusting in God...


Well...I had my interview on Tuesday. It was a total waste of time. They scheduled the interview for an hour, they only talked with me for 15 minutes. Can you believe this? It was awful. I could have cried.

Prior to the interview, I had a bad feeling all day. Something kept telling me not to go to this interview. My instincts were totally right.

In all honesty, when they described the job, I knew it wasn't fit. There website stated that they were a small company. I didn't realize that it was a company of only 6 employees. It sounded like it would be a high stress position.

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to write this blog. I don't have the victories that I thought I would be having. The blessings that I truly believed I was going to have have not happened. Today, I prayed to God letting Him know that I just didn't know what to pray. I feel lost and confused.

Do you know what? I still feel like God is going to bless me. Although, I'm wondering if I'm just fooling myself. Am I in denial? There's one thing I'm not in denial about...I'm scared. I'm so scared. If God is allowing me to go through this to test my faith...well, He has accomplished it. I'm totally going by faith, but my faith is taking a beating. I'm just crying out to God that He will deliver me and my mother soon.

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

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