Friday, March 18, 2011

Do I Hear The Voice Of God????

I cannot deny that I'm feeling depressed. I can't deny that my faith is at a low. I can't deny that I have cried tears, because I feel like God has let me down.

I started this blog to help myself and others who are going through a hard time. I wanted to show how prayer, faith and spirituality works. I knew when I started this blog that I would have my trials. I guess I didn't think that things would get this bad...especially when I believed I had God on my side.

Now, it's 2:30 in the morning, and I feel really down. I have conflicting voices going on inside of me. One voice is telling me that everything is going to be OK. It's saying that I will have victory. The other voice is calling me a failure. It's saying that I'm disgusting.

People have told me that I should know that the positive voice is God and the negative voice is one I should never listen to. I'm just starting to wonder if I'm hearing God at all. Am I in denial? Is God really talking to me? Is He really telling me that everything is going to be OK? I really don't know.

My situation is dire. I haven't worked in almost 2 years. I don't know what to do. No one will hire me. I have two degrees, and I feel worthless. I feel like such a failure.

You may ask, "Why am I posting this?" I guess so everyone can see that they are not alone. I have my doubts too. I feel lost and alone too.

I wish I could say that I feel victory in my future. I can't. I wish I could say that my faith in God is stronger than ever....but it's not. I'm depressed. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. To sum things up...I would say I'm feeling hopeless.

Psalm 34:17-20 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 58 helpful votes
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

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