Questioning God.....

I know that we shouldn't question God.  Inside I'm so torn about my life.  I'm unhappy.  I try to tell myself just be happy, but it doesn't work.

I had an awful dream about losing my mother.  I dreamt that my father came into my room, and said "Your mother has died.  I knew it, because she looked so peaceful."  I jumped from my bed saying, "No, no..."  I woke up from that nightmare scared.  It's one of my worst fears.  I'm not ready to lose my mother.

My dream brought about a lot of other fears too.  I will be alone.  My brother has a beautiful girlfriend, and I have no one.  I keep asking God, "Would you really leave me alone?"  My thoughts have been going around and around questioning God's love for me.  I know He loves me, but I have this nagging doubt that won't go away.  I keep wondering if God is mad at me.

People have told me that these thoughts are just the devil getting in my head.  I'd like to believe that when the devil is attacking me so fiercely, it means that God has something amazing just around the corner.  The problem is that I've thought that something amazing was just around the corner for me, but I've been disappointed again and again by thinking this way.  I just can't let my thoughts go in that direction.  It hurts too much.

I'm still going by faith.  I love God.  I just feel so lost.  Please continue to pray for me.  God bless.

Is there a true direction in life?

Well, I've found a job.  It's a contract position.  I'm having a hard time getting excited for this position.  I will be returning to the building where I was laid off.  I'm really not happy about that.  I'm also not happy, because I've read reviews about the place I'm going to be working.  I haven't scene any favorable things.  I'm very concerned.

I know I have to hand this over to God.  I'm scared.  I want to do a good job.  I'm just scared.

I haven't given up my search for a permanent position.  I'm still looking.  I'm also still believing in God for amazing things in my life.  Things have got to get better.

Sign From God

Yesterday, I had weatherization people come to my home to start their process.  I'm so grateful.

At the end of the day, one of the men noticed that the stopper on the sink was broken.  I told him that I had the replacement parts, but I just hadn't felt motivated to fix it.  He took time out of his schedule to fix the part for us.  He had to cut part of the pipe.  I never would have been able to do this.  He stated, "You never know how God will bless you."

I have a feeling that God was sending me a message.  "You never know how God will bless you."  It gives me comfort.  I think I was looking for a sign to know that God had not forgotten me.  Times are hard.  It does feel a little like God has me on the side.  I'm going to count this as a message from God.  I know He sees my struggle.  I think He wants me to know that He hasn't given up on me.  It's comforting.

All I can say, "Thank You God.  I really needed Your reassurance."

Trying To Stay Thankful

The devil is constantly on the attack.  I've been blessed with free weatherization on my home.  They will be giving me a new furnace, bathroom fan, dehumidifier and insulating my walls at no cost to me.  I'm so grateful to God, but my heart is still heavy.  I received a disconnection notice for my water.   It's tough.  I'm not really sure what to do, but I'm still trying to remain faithful.

Here's my prayer:

Dear Lord,

You said, Matthew 18:19 "Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."  My mother and I have been praying in agreement for a major money blessing, a good job for myself, husbands and to move out of our dangerous neighborhood for a long time.  I know our time is not your time, but we truly believe that You will answer our prayers.  God...Why is it taking so long?  I've been unemployed since August 2014.  Please help us.

You said, Luke 17:6 "He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you."  Yes.  My faith has it's ups and downs.  There are times when doubt is shouting in my head.  I'm still praying God.  Why haven't you answered?  I have to admit that I was expecting miracles.  I don't lower my expectations of You, because You are God.  I believe You will answer our prayers.

You said, Mathew 18:20 ""For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."  My mother and I cry out our hearts to You.  We praise You for all of the good that You've done for us.  I'm just wondering why the other prayers have not been answered?  

God, I'm going to continue to have faith.  Please help us.  We need You.

It's Been A Long Time

It's been a long time, since I posted.  Believe it or not, I'm unemployed again.  I was laid off in August 2014.  I've had several interviews, but no one seems to want to hire me.

I'm handling this layoff a bit differently.  One of my best friends is the person that I would usually tell about my layoff.  I decided not to tell her this time.  I wanted to let God handle this situation, and I know if I tell her, we will talk about this constantly.  I want this situation in God's hands.

To be honest with you, I'm so glad that I'm no longer employed at the company I was at.  It was horrible.  I've never seen people fired as much as I did with this position.  I was constantly on edge about losing my job.  I never want to be in that position again.

I have to admit that I'm scared.  My mother and I have been praying in agreement, but our prayer for me to be employed has not been answered.  I really thought I would have a job by now.  I don't know what to do.  I've run through my unemployment, and I'm not going through my savings.

I back to wondering about what did God mean when He stated that, "I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you."

My mother and I have been praying certain prayer over and over again for years, but we aren't seeing results.  Don't get me wrong.  God has answered several prayers.  I'm so grateful.  I always thank Him.  I just wonder about the big prayers that we are waiting for answers.  I know that people say we have to be in agreement with Him, but I don't understand.  The things that we've prayed in agreement about seem to be things that I believe God would want for us.  How could He not want me to be employed?

I'm going to continue to pray in agreement.  I hope that I can update you all soon with answers.

God DOES Answer Prayers!!!!!

Praise The Lord!!!!  A prayer has been answered. 

My mother and I are living together, because the economy has hit us hard.  Taking care of the house has been overwhelming.  We've had repairs that needed to be completed, but we just did not have the money.

My mother found an organization online that helps people who have low incomes with some of their household repairs.  She applied.  We would hear from them on and off, but we never knew if we qualified.  They came by our home to inspect 2 or 3 times, but we still didn't know if we qualified.  Finally, we received a letter stating that they were going to do repairs on our home. 

We didn't know what to expect.  Of course, we were so grateful to God. 

Well...Let me tell you, that you better be prepare for God's blessings. 

On a Saturday, at about 7 in the morning, we had a knock on the door.  We weren't sure what to expect.  Guess what?  There were about 20 volunteers who were at our home to do some repairs.  We were overwhelmed.  They came in and started working right away.  We asked them if there was anything we could do, they told us it was our day. 

Well, they came in and painted our kitchen and bathroom.  They fixed our sink in the bathroom and toilet.  They fixed the light in my mother's closet.  They fixed several outlets.  They fixed a light fixture in the kitchen that hasn't worked in over 10 years.  They put in fire and carbon monoxide detectors.  They replaced a connection to our dryer.  They fixed a door that would not close to the attic.  They replaced our porch.  Like I said, you better be prepared for God's blessings.

I look around at all that was done with no expense to us, and I'm so grateful.  It's like God has given me a big hug. 

I know that this is only the beginning.  I'm waiting expectantly for God's blessings.  I'm handing Him all my problems, because I know that they could not be in better hands.

Psalm 37:7 "Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him"

God Does Give You What You Need....

Let me tell you about a blessing that God has given to me.

I've been having so many problems on my job.  I was written up, for the first time in my life, about 2 weeks ago.  I was heartbroken.  I've been so overwhelmed at work.  No one knows the amount of work I do.  It's a place where you really aren't appreciated.  I've never worked at a company like this.

I've been praying to God for help on my job.  I don't like what I've been doing, and I'm currently looking for something else.

The week I was written up they hired a new Director for my department.  I didn't know what to think about him.  To be honest, I was so distracted by being written up that I couldn't really think about anything else.  A day or two after I was written up, I received an email from the new Director that he wanted to talk to me about my job at 7am.  I was at home at the time.  I thought that I was going to get fired.  I called him at work.  I said, "If I'm getting fired I would prefer to come in now to get my things.  I'm stressed, and I can't take it anymore."  He immediately calmed me.  He stated that he planned on reducing my stress, and I was not getting fired.

This Director has reduced my stress in the 2 weeks that he's been there so much.  I'm so grateful to him.  Guess what?  I went over some of my duties with him.  After he learned of some of my duties, he said he needed a drink.  LOL.

God is so good.  PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

This is such an amazing learning experience.  God does give you what you need.  He will bring the right person in your life when you need them.  It took time, but it came at the right time.  Trust in God.  He will never let you down.

Philippians 4:19But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Wishing To Hear God More Clearly

I was sent something about hearing God...specifically, they were referring to Moses.  Moses had a special relationship with God.  God would actually talk to him, and Moses would hear His voice.  Isn't that amazing?

Has there ever been a time in your life when you wish that you could hear God more clearly?  Wouldn't it be more reassuring if we could just talk to God and hear His answers.  I've wished this so many times.

Life's uncertainties have caused me so many sleepless nights.  I've cried out to God so many times.  I would have and still would give almost anything to hear God more clearly.  I just want to know that I'm going in the direction He wants me to go in.  I want to know that He's pleased with my decisions.  I just want to know that everything will be OK.  A lot of people would say that this is when faith comes in to play, and they would be right.

I'm going to continue to move forward with God.  I'm going to continue to expect the Lord's blessings.

God bless.

Unanswered Prayers

What do you do when prayer doesn't seem to give you the desired answers you expected?  Well...you just continue to pray.  Right?

I have to admit that my prayers haven't turned out the way I thought they would.  I thought that I would see miraculous things start to happen...especially when my mother and I started agreeing in prayer.  This hasn't been the case.  Don't get me wrong.  God has saved us from losing our home.  God kept food in our fridge.  God sent us the people we needed, when we needed them.  God was there through our trials when we thought we would lose everything  God is so good.

On my way to work, I usually pray for family, friends and myself.  I try to say prayers of thanks when it comes to my job.  I thank God that it will be a great day.  I thank God that I will have a successful, easygoing day.  I thank God that I will be able to resolve all issues.  By the grace of God, He usually comes through.  You see...I'm having a difficult time on my job.  I work hard, but it's a high profile, high stress job.  It's definitely not for me.  I'm scared everyday that I could possibly lose my job.  I'm just going to continue to trust that God will never allow this to happen.  God is good.

I'm not going to give up on the prayers that I'm believing in God for.  I know I just have to remain in faith...and remember....God is good.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, thatin me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Staying In Faith For The Long Run

Last night, I had a conversation with God.  I talked to Him about prayers that my mother and I have been agreeing on, but have not been answered.  I've heard many times that it's OK to remind God about honoring His word.  

My mother and I have a list of prayers, but we haven't seen answers that I thought we would see.  I know that God's time isn't our time.  I know that God doesn't necessarily give us what we want, but He gives us what we need.  I'm just having a hard time believing that the this list of prayers that my mother and I have been praying for aren't things that God would want for us.  

You are probably wondering what some of the prayers are that we have requested from God.  Well, my mother and I have been praying to move to Texas.  We would like to connect with family that we have there.  There are so many family members that I've never met, and I know there are many that don't know I even exist.  It's always been a dream for me to move there, so when my father passed away my mother and I thought it would be a great idea to move.  We really don't have many family members where we are now.  

A second prayer is for our health...my mother's in particular.  Her blood pressure has been dangerously high.  I worry about her.  She's under a lot of stress.  She's going to the doctor to get this under control, but it's been high for a while.  I have to admit that I'm scared for her.  These are just a couple of the prayers that we've asked for, but we have yet to see God work His miracles.

I know that God has amazing things in store for us.  My mother and I always say that we believe God is about to do something amazing for us.  I guess we've just been through so much, we wish God would answer now.  

I still believe that God is going to answer our prayers.  I still believe in the power of 2 people agreeing in prayer.  Maybe this is a test from God to see how long I will stay in faith.  I will say right now, "God...I'm in it for the long run."  

God bless.

John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

What God wants for you is best

I'm looking to make a change in my life.  I've had a lot of challenges, but I've had victories as well.  God is so good.

I've decided that the job I have isn't what I'm looking for.  Don't get me wrong...I love it.  I love all of the things that I've learned.  I enjoy my co-workers.  My manager is the best boss that I've ever had.  This is a company that doesn't have the petty childishness or harassment that other companies encourage.  Unfortunately, they have a turnover rate that scares me.  In addition, they have the highest deductible insurance that I've ever seen. Although, I have to say that the turnover rate is what scares me the most.  I always feel like I have one foot out the door.  I want to work for a employer that focuses on employee retention, not one that doesn't care about retaining their employees.

I've talked to God about how I feel.  I've applied to several positions, and I've heard from one employer.  I'm really excited, because this is an employer that I've always wanted to work for.  I have talked to God to let Him know that I only want this if He wants this for me.  I've come to a point in my life that I understand that God's best is not want you want, but what He wants for you.

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Faith Low But Not Gone

Life seems to have brought me another challenge.  I really enjoy my job.  I have the best manager and team.  I really like my co-workers.  The challenge is the job.  I'm becoming overwhelmed and discouraged.  It's a very complicated position.  I do seem to have my victories with this job, but I also have times when I can't seem to resolve issues.  I never feel secure in my position.  This place has the highest turnover I've ever seen.  I'm always scared that I could lose my job.

Right now, I'm putting everything in God's wonderful hands.  I have fear in my heart.  I know that I have lean on God when I feel this way.

I have to admit that I'm so tired.  I know I have to count my blessings.  God will see me through this.  I won't deny that my faith is low but not gone.

My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest. (Exodus 33:14)

You Can Never Ask God For Too Much

I was talking to a friend today.  She never really asked the question, but I had a feeling that she was wondering if she was asking God for too much. 

I love to pray to God.   When I pray, I let God know all of my prayers, wishes and hopes.  You see...I know that my God is the God of more than enough.  I can never ask Him for too much.  The thought that I'm asking Him for too much is showing Him a lack of faith.  I believe that God loves when we come to Him.  He's our Father after all. 

Philippians 4:6 it says, Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God.

God Knows The Secret Desires of Your Heart

My mother and I are still praying our agreement prayers.  I have a couple of prayers that I don't say out loud.  I have prayers that I share in confidence with God...these are the "Secret Desires of My Heart".

God and I have talked about one day bringing someone special into my life.  I have to say that I have not been good in choosing men.  I've had two long term relationships that both lasted about 4 years each.  I stayed a lot longer than I should have in both, but they gave me good lessons in life.

Now, I know I can't tell God what to do.  I know that I want whomever God will bless me with.  I just know that it doesn't hurt to let God know "The Secret Desires of Your Heart".  I know He's listening.  I know He will answer. 

I'm writing this, because I want you all to know that you don't have to let everyone know your prayers.  You can just share them with God, and He will answer.  I'll let you know how God answers this prayer. 

God bless everyone!!!!

Matthew 6:6

⁶ But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

God Will Never Give You More Than You Can Handle....Really?!?!

Today, I was thinking about the verse where God says that He will not give you more than you can handle.  The exact verse is the following:

1 Corinthians 10:13

¹³ No temptation^[a] has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted^[b] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted,^[c] he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

There have been times in my life where I was so upset with God.  I would cry out and say, "You told me that You would not give me more that I can handle.  Why aren't You doing something?"  There were so many times when I would just cry.  I have to say that God did honor His word.  He took care of me and my mother.  He brought us jobs when we needed them.  I won't say that we didn't have our moments where we were terrified.  I won't say that we still don't have our challenges.  I can say that He always found a way for us to endure throughout our trials.

Keep the faith!!!!!

God Never Promised That Things Would Be Easy...But He will Always Be With You

It's easy to say, "God why did You allow this or that to happen."  Isn't it?  Life can seem unfair most of the time and fair doesn't seem to come around that often.  I know I've asked God, "Why?" so many times.

This weekend, I went to get an oil change.  I noticed that my car was jumping a lot as I drove.  At times, I thought my car wouldn't go forward.  I was afraid that my transmission was going.  I was so scared.

Well...I got my oil change, and they told me I needed my radiator flushed as well.  It was an added expense, but I thought it was well worth it, because winter is just around the corner.  The guy who was working on my car asked me to look at something under my hood.  I have to admit that my heart sunk upon hearing this.  It turns out that my spark plugs were defective.  You could see a spark jumping back and forth between the wires.  This young guy who was working on my car took pity on me.  He drove me to the car parts store, where I was able to get his discount on the wires.  He then changed my wires for $15.  PRAISE THE LORD!!!

My point in sharing this with you is to show that God was with me.  I had someone to work on my car, and I was able to afford it.  This is a perfect example of how God never promised that things would be easy or that nothing bad would happen, but He did promise that He would be with you through your trials. 

Psalm 16:8 "I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me."

Life Is Full Of Challenges

Life is full of challenges.  I'm still grateful to be working, but it's so hard.  Being out of work for over 2 years has me realizing that I lost a lot of my skills. 

Some people say that nowadays people are in two categories...People who are trying to keep their job and People who are trying to find a job.  I have to admit that I'm scared.  I have got to keep this job.  I'm fortunate that my manager is the best.  I've learned so much.  I guess you could say that right now I'm going by faith.  I just have to do well in this job...and I know I will.  God brought this to me.  He will not let me down.

Guess what else I did today?  I paid my tithes again.  I'm just showing God that I believe that He will keep His word.  It's just another leap of faith that I'm taking. 

I'm learning that life is full of taking leaps of faith.  We just have to learn to trust God.  Let Him know when you're scared and feeling alone.  We are His children.  He will take care of us.

Right now, I'm agreeing in prayer with everyone that reads my posts.  I know a lot of you are praying for financial blessings, jobs, health, security and major blessings.  I'm here as a Prayer Warrior to let you know that I agree in prayer with you.  Remember what God said about agreeing in prayer:

Matthew 18:19 "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven."

God is the only One I know who is guaranteed to keep His word.  Please share the blessings with me that God will be sending to you.

God bless everyone.

Psalm 121:7-8

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

"Get ready for the goodness of God in a new way!!!!"~Joel Osteen

God's Master Plan

I know it's been a long time, since I posted.  So many wonderful things have been happening in my life. 

First, I want to say "Praise God.  He is so wonderful!!!!  I love Him so much." 

If you've been reading my blog, you know that I was out of work for over 2 years.  I paid my tithes and not too long afterwards, I had a job offer.  PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!  It's in my field.  I'm paid more than my last job.  I love it.  GOD IS SO GOOD!!!!

I can't believe that I have a job.  I've completed my 4th week of work.  I have a wonderful manager.  I've learned so much from him.  It's been a while, since I've worked on some things.  I can't deny that I'm a little nervous about this job.  I have so much to learn and remember, but I'm enjoying all of this. 

It's so strange.  I was wondering what was taking God so long to find a job for me.  I had so many interviews and so much rejection.  It hurt.  I was terrified of becoming homeless.  I knew that I was not going to let my mother be put out on the streets.  I had an idea of emergency housing for her, but there weren't any options on housing for myself. 

Well, I realized that if God had given me one of the jobs that I interviewed for in the past...I would not have been ready.  I have a lot to learn.  This job is perfect for me.  They are allowing me to learn at a pace that is sufficient for me.  My manager is very visual, like myself, and he's taking things at a pace that I can keep up with.  God had a master plan.  I just had to wait on Him to show me.  I had to trust God. 

What I've learned is to trust in God.  I don't think I could ever not worry, but this experience has increased my faith in God. 

I guess I would say...stay in faith, God's Master Plan is better than you can imagine.  I can't wait to share more and more of what God has in store for me.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I Admit It...I'm Afraid

I started this blog, because I was afraid when I was laid off from my job.  It was taking me so long to find a job.  I was scared and crying out to God.  I wasn't sure what God had in store for me, but I felt that God had something wonderful in store for me.  The length of time it took to find this job tested my faith to the extreme.

Now, I have a job that I will be starting on August 1st.  I'm so scared.  I'm grateful...but I don't want to go.  I'm afraid of all of the responsibility that comes with this job.  I want to do my best, but I wonder if I can do this job.  I've been out of work for 2 years and a month.  I haven't used my skills in a long time.  Can I do this?  Is this the job for me? 

I'm starting a new journey.  I'm going to take this journey with God.  I know that I can trust God.  I know that as long as He is with me everything will be OK.  I guess this is where faith comes into play.

God bless.

2 Timothy 4:7



I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Praise The Lord!!!!! I Have A Job!!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  HE CAME THROUGH FOR MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!  I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a little over 2 years.  I was starting to feel like I was going to have to give up on my career.  I've been so depressed.  I didn't know what I was going to do.

I wrote a post about paying my tithes not too long ago.  I was testing God to see what He was going to do.  I have to admit that things did start to happen.  My mother and I received an increase in our food share.  We were approved for weatherization on our home.  Now, I have a job.  Is this a coincidence?  No...I don't think so.  I think that God not only passed, but He surpassed my test.  He brought me through this horrible time.

I have to admit that the devil has been in my head.  I've already thanked God for this new position, but I'm so scared.  I haven't told my best friends, because I can't help but to wonder if I will be able to do this job.  I haven't worked in a little over 2 years.  I'm so scared.  I want this to work out.  It has to work out. 

I'm going to continue to pray in agreement with my mother.  I'm continuing to have faith in God.  I know that God has some wonderful things in store for me and my family.  I have to continue to keep the faith...even when live is showing me differently.

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.