It's official. I have been unemployed for a little over a year. I'm terrified. I can't believe that I'm in this situation. The thought of losing my home makes me sick to my stomach. Do you know what I'm doing? I'm praising God. I praise Him, because I had a wonderful 4th of July. I praise Him, because I have my health. I praise Him, because I know He's going to allow me to come out better than I was before.

I have to admit that there are strong doubts going on in my mind. I constantly hear, "You haven't heard anything yet." I hear, "You've been praying for a long time, and look at where you are at now." I just continue to pray.

I'm also praying with my mother. The Bible says in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them." I believe this is one of the most powerful forms of prayer that you can do.

My mother are practicing agreeing in prayer. Matthew 18:19 states, "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." I'll have to let you know if this works.

OK. We have three prayers that we are agreeing in prayer about. The first is our health...of course. The second is about getting jobs. We both have been laid off. It's a very scary situation. The third is for a major money blessing. Nothing has happened yet, but I'm remaining faithful to God. I know He has a good plan for my life. I know that God's time is not my time...but I need Him to answer my prayers now. I'm trusting that He has an answer on the way. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I was thinking a lot about happiness. Have you ever been sad for so long that you doubt that there really is such a thing as happiness? You wonder if those fleeting moments of happiness when you were young were just a tease.

Well, I was praying to God about my life. I was feeling so confused...and alone. I was just wishing that God would show Himself to me.

I went to the store today. I was feeling frustrated. I was leaving the store when I heard someone say my name. I looked around, but I thought I was just hearing things. I heard my name again, and to my surprise, I saw a cousin that I lost contact with years ago. I was so happy to see her again. We hugged. I met her daughter. We both decided that we were not going to lose contact again.

You see...God wanted me to know that I was not alone. He brought someone that had been very important in my life long ago. He knew I needed to be uplifted.

Remember...God is always there for you. He shows Himself in the most miraculous ways.

Faith being tested & tested....

It's January...almost February. I'm still unemployed, but I did have my first interview since being laid off. Praise God!!!!

Well...the interview did not go as I had hoped. First, let me explain that I received a phone call last week, regarding a position for a Business Analyst position. It seemed to be perfect for me. They needed someone who knew SQL. They needed someone who had experience with reporting tools. I have both. I was so excited, so I scheduled the interview for Friday, January 22, 2010.

I had a whole week to prepare. I was so nervous, because I found out that I would have to take a test on SQL. Now, I know SQL, but I haven't used it in a while. I pulled out my book, and I got online to study.

I started praying to God that I only wanted this position if He wanted it for me. I had to constantly stop my self from praying the selfish prayer. You know the one..."God, I don't care. I need this job. Just make it for me." prayer. I took what I like to call "The Road of Faith". I was going to leave this in God's hands.

Well...I had the interview, and it was not as I had hoped. Yes...They needed someone who knew SQL, but it was imperative that the person knew PL/SQL. Unfortunately, I don't know PL/SQL. Guess what? The whole test was about PL/SQL. I was so disappointed, because I started to envision all of the things that I was going to do once I got this job.

Now, I allowed myself a period of time to vent and be mad. I think we all deserve this. I called a friend to tell him that I was mad that they called me in when they knew they needed someone with PL/SQL skills. I was mad, because this company had my resume for almost 3 weeks, and they knew I did not have PL/SQL. Finally, I was mad, because I wasted time worrying, studying...and just wasted time.

Now, it's the day after the interview, and I have to get myself back on track spiritually. I have to get back to being thankful. You know what? I thank God that He did not allow me to get this job. I have a feeling that it would be too much pressure for me. I thank God that I had the interview, because it helps me to prepare for future interviews. I thank God that He never left my side, because I know that He has something wonderful in store for my future.

I'm sharing this to let you know that you have to stay strong through the disappointments. Sometimes I think God wants to see that we will keep that faith no matter what. There are going to be hard times...God never promised a life of roses, but He did promise to be with us no matter what.

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day." (Lamentations 3: 21-23).

Times are hard....Keep up the faith

I know I haven't blogged since October. I don't know why. I can tell you that I have been praying.

Do you wonder what I pray for? Well, I pray for God's favor, mercy, blessings and grace. I think that pretty much covers everything.

I went to a discussion board with a discussion titled, "There has to be more." Whenever I look at my life, I think the the same thing..."There has to be more".

If you were to look at my life, you would say that I did all of the "right" things. I've always stayed out of trouble. I went to college. I graduated with two degrees. I thought my life would wonderful. I envisioned a life with a professional husband, a set of twins and a beautiful home w/a fireplace in the bedroom. I cannot believe that I live at home with my mother, I'm unemployed, and I don't date.

Now, some people would give up by now. No...not me. I have faith. Why? I truly believe that God is guiding me. He's here with me. There are times when I feel overjoyed, and I just have to praise Him. You probably are wondering why I'm praising Him when nothing has changed in my life. In fact, my life seems to be worse than before. Let me answer you by saying, I get this feeling inside. I feel like everything is going to be OK. Actually, I feel like my best days are ahead of me for no reason at all. Guess what this is? It's called FAITH. It's believing in God without seeing, and know that God is going to take care of everything.

A verse in the Bible that has been helping me through the hard times is "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." (Deuteronomy 31:8) When I look back on my life, I have to admit that there were some hard....you could even call them horrible times. God has seen me through all of this. I know He will see me through this trial I'm going through now.

(Philippians 4:13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I will survive. I will post my victories here. You all will see how God has worked His miracles in my life.

God bless.

A Message From God

Today, I had a panic attack. I suddenly had a wave of problems come at me. Thoughts of never being happy, not finding a job and not being able to pay the bills plagued me. "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?" screamed in my head. I felt hopeless.

I went to my mailbox not expecting anything in particular. I saw a card with my name and address hand written on the envelope from Houston, TX. I thought, "Who could be sending me a card from Houston, TX?" Yes. I have relatives there, but I have never met them. I'm not even sure if they know I exist.

I was still feeling down and panicked. I opened the card and right on the front it said "HOPE" in huge letters. Guess who the card was from? It was from Joel Osteen...well, maybe not directly from him, but it was from someone who wrote to me in his name. There was a quote from the Proverbs chapter of the Bible:

Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."

After I read the card, I got on my knees and thanked God for His message to me. You see...I know that God sometimes uses other people to send messages to us. Isn't it strange that at the very moment that felt I hopeless, I received a message of hope? The answer is "No". God knew that I would be having a panic attack today. He knew that I would need His message. I received a blessing from an unexpected source. Here's a Bible verse that seems to fit:

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

You see...for a moment I had a lapse of faith. God lifted me up. God let me know that He is here and will always be here for me. Through me, He's also letting you all know that God will never forsake you. He's always there. There will be times when God's presence is obvious, but there will be times when you have to go by faith. This is one of those blessed moments that God made His presence known, and I'm so grateful.

God bless everyone.

Falling into the devil's trap

Today..I woke up, and I started working on another blog. I enjoy watching TV and movies, so I decided to start a blog with my opinion on various shows. I haven't had comments, so I wasn't sure if anyone was really reading it. I continued to work on my blog, because I take pleasure in doing so.

Well...Today, I had my first comment on my blog. Someone even took one of my surveys. I was thrilled. I called my friend to let him know that I actually had someone comment on my blog. I felt really good today.

Later on in the day, I had an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness come over me. I looked at myself, and I realized that I really didn't love myself. I thought about my career, and I became fearful that I would never be able to find a job. Suddenly, I thought there was no hope.

I turned on an episode of Joel Osteen where he talks about speaking faith over your life. I started thinking about my blessings. I thought about how I asked God for time off, because I was tired. He gave me timeoff with pay. Maybe it came in the form of a layoff, but I have to remember that God has always answered my prayers. I've asked God to help me lose weight. He put a nice treadmill on sale that is within my price range.

Do you know what happened to me today? I fell into the devil's trap. I allowed him to get into my head with the hopeless thoughts. I had a moment of being truly thankful to God, and the devil decided to try to take it away from me.

Now I'm saying...Thank You God for all of your blessings. Thank You for all of the blessings coming my way.

Joel Osteen spoke about Romans 4:17 "...and call the things that are not as though they were." What is God talking about here? He's talking about having faith in the unseen. I don't have a job yet, but this is temporary. I haven't lost this weight, but this is an eventuality.
PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! He saw me through this trial, and He will continue to see me through.

Remember to keep you faith. Praise God.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Please pray for the safe return of Pfc. Bowe R. Bergdahl, U.S. Soldier:



The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)

God bless Pfc. Bowe R. Bergdahl, his family and friends through this hard time.