I Just Don't Know....

I have to be honest. I really don't know what to say anymore. I've been praying in faith, although my faith has been as small as a mustard seed. I've been praying in agreement with my Mother, but we haven't seen any major results. I'm still believing, but I'm wondering if I'm just crazy or believing in the wrong things. I just don't know.

I look at the title of my blog, "Prayer, Faith & Spirituality Works", and I wonder if I have the wrong title. I'm wondering if I should have left the word "Works" off of the title. It's not that I don't believe that prayer, faith and spirituality works. I'm just not seeing prayer work the way I thought it would. Now, some would say that I have to rely on God for how He is and would answer my prayers. I totally agree on this. It's just that I thought leaving my prayers in God's hands would be more comforting.

Mahatma Gandhi says, "There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever”. I have to say that I have a lot to be ashamed about, because I can't seem to stop worrying about my situation. I'm scared.

I've been trying to find different things to be thankful for. God has given me this time off, which I'm grateful for. I have had interviews, which is more than a lot of people can say. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge and good friends. I have a lot of people who are praying for me. There are so many people that would switch places with me in a minute.. I know I have things to be grateful for...I guess I just wish God would take on my worries for a while.

I'm going to continue to pray. I'm going to continue to have faith. I'm going to continue to believe. I know that God has great things ahead for my life. I just have to let go and let God. Right?

Philippians 4:6-7 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Nothing Left But Faith!!!!!

It's been a while, since I've posted anything. I've had quite a few things happen to shake my faith.

Guess what? Within 72 hours, I was interviewed, hired and then let go after 4 hours on the job. I was told that the scope of the project changed, so they decided to go in another direction. I was devastated. It hurt so much. I could not understand why God would allow me to come so close, only to let me fall so far and hard.

I'm trying to count my blessings. I had a great Easter. We didn't have much, but it turned out to be more than enough. Praise God.

My mother and I are still praying in agreement. We are completely going by faith now that my unemployment benefits have ended. I've heard that when you are at your end, God shows up and shows out. I'm praying for His supernatural intervention. I hope I can bring good news to you all soon.

God bless.

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

Signs from God?!?!?!

I'm always looking for signs from God. It doesn't matter what it is, but I am on the constant look out for God.

Today, I wasn't feeling the faith. I applied for a position, and I received a phone call from the person in charge. I missed his initial phone call, but I was so excited, because he called me so quickly. I thought this was a "Sign from God". He finally got in touch with me on Friday. The first thing he said was, "Well first thing...I'm not hiring you for this position." He went on to explain that he was looking for someone more technical. He just wanted to know if I had any questions. I ended the conversation with a thank you, but I felt so depressed. I just knew this was the one God had for me.

Not too long ago, I was taking my mother to class. My mother was stressing about her course, and we looked up to see a Texas license plate. You may not know this, but my mother and I plan on moving to Texas. I thought this was a sign from God too.

Now, I'm feeling like a failure. Nighttime is the worst for me. I hear things like "You're a failure.", "You're never going to make it." "You're disgusting.", "You have two degrees, and you can't even make them work for you." I could go on and on.

Well, today my mother and I prayed that she would get an A on her Algebra exam. I prayed in agreement with her, but I really wasn't feeling the faith. Guess what? My mother got an A on her exam. I'm so proud of her, yet I'm scared to call this a sign from God. Is He letting us know that He is about to answer our prayers? Am I putting too much into looking at this as a sign? I just don't know.

I'm continuing to seek God. I'm going to continue to ask Him for answers to our prayers. I just wish I could be more positive to the wonderful people that are following my blog.

Please keep me in your prayers. I pray that I will have praises to post soon.

God bless.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Do I Hear The Voice Of God????

I cannot deny that I'm feeling depressed. I can't deny that my faith is at a low. I can't deny that I have cried tears, because I feel like God has let me down.

I started this blog to help myself and others who are going through a hard time. I wanted to show how prayer, faith and spirituality works. I knew when I started this blog that I would have my trials. I guess I didn't think that things would get this bad...especially when I believed I had God on my side.

Now, it's 2:30 in the morning, and I feel really down. I have conflicting voices going on inside of me. One voice is telling me that everything is going to be OK. It's saying that I will have victory. The other voice is calling me a failure. It's saying that I'm disgusting.

People have told me that I should know that the positive voice is God and the negative voice is one I should never listen to. I'm just starting to wonder if I'm hearing God at all. Am I in denial? Is God really talking to me? Is He really telling me that everything is going to be OK? I really don't know.

My situation is dire. I haven't worked in almost 2 years. I don't know what to do. No one will hire me. I have two degrees, and I feel worthless. I feel like such a failure.

You may ask, "Why am I posting this?" I guess so everyone can see that they are not alone. I have my doubts too. I feel lost and alone too.

I wish I could say that I feel victory in my future. I can't. I wish I could say that my faith in God is stronger than ever....but it's not. I'm depressed. I'm scared. I don't know what to do. To sum things up...I would say I'm feeling hopeless.

Psalm 34:17-20 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 58 helpful votes
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Nothing Can Stop God's Will

Well...I had an interview on Tuesday. It seemed to go well, although, I don't feel like I won over the second interviewer. People continue to tell me that if it's truly God's will then nothing can stop me from getting this job. I know this is true.


I can't deny that deep down I'm so scared. I've cried out to God, and I believe I see signs that He is sending me to say that everything is going to work out. I was driving my mother to her class. She was praying to God, and I was talking to God in my head. Suddenly, we looked up and saw a Texas license plate. You may not know this, but I'm hoping to move to Texas soon with my mother. I see this as a clear sign from God, because it came just at a time when my mother and I needed one. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

Praise Report!!!!! God Is Amazing!!!!!!

I wanted to share with everyone a blessing that my mother and I received. We are severely behind on our gas and electric bill. My mother and I have been praying to God for help. Guess what?!?! We received a letter today from an organization that helps with you gas and electric bill. They put a little over $200 towards the bill. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! We really needed His help. My mother and I got on our knees and thanked God right away. I'm so grateful. I also thanked God for the blessings that are on the way.

When I started this blog, I told you all that I wanted to share my journey with you. I wanted you to see God's miracles in my life. I wanted to prove to you and myself that prayer does work. Here is one example of how prayer does work. God does answer prayers. A lot of the time, He doesn't answer the way you think He will, or the way that you hope that He will. That is what makes Him amazing.

There's more to come. I know it. I think the next blessing will be even bigger than this one. I can't wait to see what God has in store for my life.

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

God Spoke To Me Through A Dream

My mother hasn't been feeling well for a little while now. She's been feeling very tired. I have to admit that I was worried about her.

Well...One night I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that my mother passed away. I was at the cemetery with my Uncle who paid for her headstone. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I prayed and begged God not to take my mother away from me. I felt a horrible sense of dread inside of me. I woke up, and I checked on my mother. She was OK.

The next day my mother was yet again saying that she didn't feel well, and she needed to go to the doctor. I told my mother that she needed to make an appointment now to see her doctor. I tried to let her take the lead in the conversation, because I know my mother is a worrier. If I told her about my dream, she would panic, and her blood pressure would "sky rocket" out of control. I never let on that I was scared. She finally made a doctor's appointment. When she went in the doctor checked her blood pressure. He told her that she was a ticking time bomb. Her blood pressure was in the danger zone. He immediately changed her medication.

I'm thankful that God sent me this dream. I'm hoping and praying that this was a warning dream and not a dream of things to come. I cannot lose my mother, so please pray that my mother will get better. It's so strange. I'm so tired...yet I'm still not working. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Hearing that my mother was a "ticking time bomb" scared me...although, I did not let my mother know my fear.

I'm not sleeping well. I've been checking on her on and off daily, but I don't let her know how worried I really feel. I'm trying to keep things in perspective. God gave me a major blessing. He sent me a warning. He said, "Dawn...Your mother is sick. GET HER TO THE DOCTOR!!!!" That's how I'm interpreting the dream. Praise the Lord!!!!

I still believe that my best days are ahead of me. I believe that our prayers will be answered. I also believe that I'm going to have a praise report on a major change that is coming in my life. I won't deny that there are voices in my head saying, "Things are not going to work out. Look at where you are now. Things have not gotten better." I'm fighting this day and night. I'm scared. I'm scared for my mother. I'm scared for the both of us and our survival. I'm going to keep the faith. I'm going to continue to believe God's word. He will see me through this. This is a trial, and I will come out blessed.

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.