God Spoke To Me Through A Dream

My mother hasn't been feeling well for a little while now. She's been feeling very tired. I have to admit that I was worried about her.

Well...One night I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that my mother passed away. I was at the cemetery with my Uncle who paid for her headstone. I woke up in the middle of the night, and I prayed and begged God not to take my mother away from me. I felt a horrible sense of dread inside of me. I woke up, and I checked on my mother. She was OK.

The next day my mother was yet again saying that she didn't feel well, and she needed to go to the doctor. I told my mother that she needed to make an appointment now to see her doctor. I tried to let her take the lead in the conversation, because I know my mother is a worrier. If I told her about my dream, she would panic, and her blood pressure would "sky rocket" out of control. I never let on that I was scared. She finally made a doctor's appointment. When she went in the doctor checked her blood pressure. He told her that she was a ticking time bomb. Her blood pressure was in the danger zone. He immediately changed her medication.

I'm thankful that God sent me this dream. I'm hoping and praying that this was a warning dream and not a dream of things to come. I cannot lose my mother, so please pray that my mother will get better. It's so strange. I'm so tired...yet I'm still not working. I'm feeling overwhelmed. Hearing that my mother was a "ticking time bomb" scared me...although, I did not let my mother know my fear.

I'm not sleeping well. I've been checking on her on and off daily, but I don't let her know how worried I really feel. I'm trying to keep things in perspective. God gave me a major blessing. He sent me a warning. He said, "Dawn...Your mother is sick. GET HER TO THE DOCTOR!!!!" That's how I'm interpreting the dream. Praise the Lord!!!!

I still believe that my best days are ahead of me. I believe that our prayers will be answered. I also believe that I'm going to have a praise report on a major change that is coming in my life. I won't deny that there are voices in my head saying, "Things are not going to work out. Look at where you are now. Things have not gotten better." I'm fighting this day and night. I'm scared. I'm scared for my mother. I'm scared for the both of us and our survival. I'm going to keep the faith. I'm going to continue to believe God's word. He will see me through this. This is a trial, and I will come out blessed.

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

Are the blessings really on the way?????

Lately, I've been having a hard time sleeping. My mind is racing. I find myself crying out to God...praying that He will see us through this. I'm feeling my faith getting away from me.

On occasion, I will look back at some of my older posts, and I realize that I really haven't moved forward. I still have an excellent relationship with God. I can talk to Him about anything. I just cannot figure out why my prayers have not been answered. I'm conflicted about how my mother and I have been praying in agreement, but we haven't received answers to our major prayers. I cannot believe that I don't have a job. The bills have overwhelmed us. I need to be able to take care of my mother.

I have to admit that I do sometimes feel God telling me that everything will be OK. I know I've said this before, but I get these thoughts that I don't have to worry about anything. My thoughts tell me that I will be better of than I was before. I feel a major blessing is on the way. On the other hand, I wonder if I'm in denial of the situation. I don't have any career prospects, and I don't have a major money blessing coming to me. I'm scared.

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Trusting in God...

Well...I had my interview on Tuesday. It was a total waste of time. They scheduled the interview for an hour, they only talked with me for 15 minutes. Can you believe this? It was awful. I could have cried.

Prior to the interview, I had a bad feeling all day. Something kept telling me not to go to this interview. My instincts were totally right.

In all honesty, when they described the job, I knew it wasn't fit. There website stated that they were a small company. I didn't realize that it was a company of only 6 employees. It sounded like it would be a high stress position.

Sometimes I wonder why I continue to write this blog. I don't have the victories that I thought I would be having. The blessings that I truly believed I was going to have have not happened. Today, I prayed to God letting Him know that I just didn't know what to pray. I feel lost and confused.

Do you know what? I still feel like God is going to bless me. Although, I'm wondering if I'm just fooling myself. Am I in denial? There's one thing I'm not in denial about...I'm scared. I'm so scared. If God is allowing me to go through this to test my faith...well, He has accomplished it. I'm totally going by faith, but my faith is taking a beating. I'm just crying out to God that He will deliver me and my mother soon.

Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)

I Just Keep Praying....

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Things are extremely hard for me and my mother now. We are still agreeing in prayer and going by faith in our daily lives, but we are scared. I've had a phone interview, and I have another interview on Tuesday (2/8/11). I have to admit that I don't know what to think anymore. At times I don't even know what to pray.

My mother and I have been praying and agreeing in prayer for a long time now. I really don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I still have my ups and downs when dealing with my faith. I just wish that God would answer one of our major prayers. I know I can't tell God what to do. I just wish He would give us some kind of reassurance.

We have had a couple of blessings. One blessing was my mother's health insurance. I was so scared, because there was a mix up with her insurance. She wasn't able to get her prescriptions, and she wasn't able to go to the doctor. It took a month, but we found someone to leave a message with. She called my mother, and the problem was resolved...no questions asked. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! A second blessing came when we had a blizzard. My car was stuck, and I thought I would have to shovel it out by myself. PRAISE GOD!!!! My neighbors came to my rescue, and they shoveled me out of the snow. Another neighbor moved his car, so that I could park in front of my house.

I'm counting my blessings. I'm going by faith that God is working on miracles for us. There are even times when I feel that God is going to do some amazing things in my life. I admit that at times there is an overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be better than OK.

I'm going to continue to praise God. I'm going to continue to post my victories....no matter how small. God will see me through this.

The devil tried to knock me down, but God lifted me up....

I just had something interesting happen to me. I was starting to feel down. I was in the shower, and I started to cry out to God. All of a sudden, I slipped in the bathtub. Luckily, I didn't fall and hurt myself.

At first, I thought, "Great...Look at what I get for praying." I almost cried. I decided to look at this another way. I think the devil tried to knock me down, but God lifted me up.

I'm trying to look at things in a more positive way, instead of looking at my situation with a defeatest attitude. I'm going by faith that God tried to show me in that moment that He was there for me in that event, and He will uplift me in my current position. Things will work out. I just have to remain in faith.

Mark 10:46-52. "And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the highway side begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me. And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me. And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee. And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus. And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight. And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole. And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way. "

Faith At A Low

I had my over-the-phone interview on Friday, and it was the worst interview that I've ever had. At the end of the interview, one of the women said, "You haven't worked in over a year!!!!!" My unemployment became a reality to me then. My faith seemed to crash. I felt hopeless. I was so hurt.

I cried out to God. I have to admit that I feel different things. On the one hand, I feel like God is going to send amazing blessings my way. I think that when He does answer the prayers of me and my mother, we will be overwhelmed. On the other hand, I just feel lost. I'm feeling like our prayers aren't going anywhere or doing anything. I feel like the verses Matthew 18:19-20,

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

is not working. I thought I would see miracles. I thought I would feel and see God's grace, favor and blessings. I thought I would be posting victories and blessings. I wanted to be able to tell the wonderful people that follow my blog that God answers, you just have to wait.

There are so many times when I was so sure God was going to answer my prayers. I felt that I could see victory right around the corner. I felt like God's blessings were within reach. I could see why God allowed me to go through this trial. I could see my visions become reality. Then...God did not answer my prayers. I did not have the victory I thought I would have. His blessings were not within my reach. The trials continue, and the visions were just visions. My reality is the same as it was at the beginning of starting this blog. My hopes continue to be dashed again and again. I'm scared.

I'm continuing to cry out to God. I go from specific prayers to just asking for God's guidance...His favor...His mercy...His blessings.

The bible verse Psalm 34:17 "The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.", seems to be so revealing. My mother and I pray in agreement, we cry out to God, yet He has not delivered us. My faith is at a low.

Hopeful For Victories From God!!!!!

I found a quote today that fits my life. It states, "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.~Jack Handey".

I'm continuing to stay in faith. I'm continuing to pray in agreement with my mother. The devil is really on the attack, but God is always there. For instance, my car would start on Monday, but when put in gear it would stop. Thankfully, God made a way for someone to come over and fix the problem. It cost...luckily, I did have the money, but I really could have used that money somewhere else. I still count my blessings.

I really thought that I would be posting more victories by now. I thought I would have some life changing things to posts. I just don't. I still don't have a job. I have had some inquiries, but I have not had one offer. Tomorrow (1/14/11), I have another interview. I'm praying that this is the one that God wants me to have.

You know what? God showed me that things could be worse. I called a friend who has used up her unemployment benefits, has a son living with her who disrespects, threatens and manipulates her, her kids won't help her, she doesn't have any marketable skills, and she doesn't have anyone who has her back. She also has various health issues, yet she remains faithful to God. She has her moments where she breaks down, but she still has an amazing spirit. So, if she can stay in faith, then I can and you can.

I just keep praying to God. I'm going to continue to pray in agreement with my mother. I'm determined that one day I will be able to post a major victory. As a matter of fact, I believe I'm going to post a major victory soon. I'm claiming this in the name of Jesus Christ.

Psalm 30:5 Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.